Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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