Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
