i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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