I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
