its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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