Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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