they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
