This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
