hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
