tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize