4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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