What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize