you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
