I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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