i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
