do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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