My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
