You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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