i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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