Can Purell be used as lube?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
