Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
