Me too!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize