Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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