I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
