I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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