the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
we should paint friendship bongs
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
