He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
