I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
