Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
