A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
