forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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