you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
