I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
