I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
