I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
