yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
