i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
