great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
