I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize