i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
