i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
