dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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