please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
