If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
