North Korea, Best Korea!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
