All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
