it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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