Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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