One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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