That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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