..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize