Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
