Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize