no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
