I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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