So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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