I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
