Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
