sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
