I think my vagina is haunted
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize