you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Houston, we have a blender
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
