loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
