Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize