Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
