after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
