Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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