how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
