Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
