:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
