No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
