I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
