She said her name was "party"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
