Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
